“Are u joking Allan”…You…you…never told me about this.. All of a sudden what happened?
“No, I am not joking Stella…I am leaving this country…for ever”…said Allan
“But….But…Allan…I mean… it’s okay…but may I know the reason behind your sudden decision?” A quick question came from Stella…
“Yes… I have got a job offer and I don’t want to lose this”, Allan said sternly…
Stella kept looking at his face…she never thought that she would lose Allan for ever…The very thought of being away from Allan sent shiver to her spine. After all she found a shelter in Allan to leave aside all her struggles and worries. She laughed her heart out when Allan was there. Her heart broke to the core…She hardly could gather herself. While coming back on her way to home, she kept thinking about the whole incident.
Allan took a such a heart breaking decision of going far far away from Stella…but this broke his heart equally…May be a bit more….Allan and Stella knew each other from their childhood days, did their schooling and college together. Allan used to love Stella but never could gather courage to speak as he thought he was not worthy of Stella. Meanwhile Stella got married to a guy. One day she met her old friend-Allan in the same city. They met, had coffee and lunch together. They shared their views, their life and its ups and downs. Slowly and gradually Stella understood that Allan used to love her since the time that he could understand what love is.
This came as a shock to Stella that being so close she could never ever see his eyes and the love in it. Now there is no point going back as she is married now.
Life has changed and so Allan is. But one thing which did not change is the love of Allan…though remained un-expressed.
The day came and Allan left for his new job and new life altogether. It was agonizing for Stella to lose Allan once again. First unknowingly and then knowingly. Allan got busy in his new life and Stella pretended to be. But deep within her heart she was yearning for Allan. She kept everyone happy in the family but failed to keep herself happy.
She used to convince herself that Allan also has the right to live his life the way he wanted to. And Stella is also married now. Happy or unhappy…but she is living her life.
Then why not Allan? More she tried to console her soul more restless she became.
One day Stella happened to meet one of Allan’s friends Joseph. At first she tried to ignore him as she feared that she won’t be able to resist the urge to ask about Allan. But Joseph seemed to be quite dismayed and looked as if he wanted to meet Stella for long.
Seeing Joseph Stella could not hold herself anymore and asked anxiously, how is Allan? Any news? I have not heard from him for long…
He left, Joseph said with a fainted voice.
I know, Joseph, he told me that he is leaving this country as he got a very good job there.
No, Stella, he did not just leave you or me… he left all of us…everyone. He left never to come back…he is no more!
Stella….Allan is no more…cried Joseph!
Stella stood traumatized and could not believe what she just heard. Thunder passed through her soul and body. Joseph somehow managed to control himself, handed a letter to Stella and left without saying anything.
With trembling hands Stella sat under a pine tree and opened that letter. It seemed that it was written long back……
“Stella…I know it might not be the right time to tell you that I loved you since the time I understood the difference between a girl and a boy. Since the time we became curious about the opposites, since the time you were more than just a friend to me. But since I don’t want to bury this fact with myself, I had to tell you this. I died each day when you just fell in love with a guy you wanted to marry. You used to tell me about the hardships you were facing during your courtship period. I died each day. I was losing you bit by bit every day…You slipped away in front of my eyes and I could not utter a single word. I was happy seeing you happy. I left your city and settled down somewhere far far away. But see, fate ditched me here as well. We again met and this time it was not the same you, neither the same me. Things have changed and so are we. I never wanted to let you know about my love for you but somehow you came to know. But it’s too late now for both of us. You need to take care of your life and I do not have more life saved with me now.
You know what I used to plan since my childhood days? I thought I would propose you and if you get offended, I would instantly say, “I was just joking!
Stella, life has cracked a big joke with me, but this time I am not joking. I am going Stella; I was suffering from cancer and have very few days left with me. I am leaving the country so that you don’t see me dying. I can only give you my love, smiles, giggles, laughs but never could hurt you. In next life, Stella, choose me as your lover, your eternal lover and this time, I am seriously not joking”……..
She could still smell Allan through that letter