“I knew that you will and you must go away ..someday..I knew things will not remain as it used to be..you said it once…I Knew it was just few good moments…I knew it would last for few days or months at the most..I knew I would not get to see you too often..I knew you would someday or the other get extremely busy arranging your own life and the life of others who surround you..I knew life would be incomplete without you..I knew love will be imperfect without you by my side…I knew I will not expect anything from you. it was a promise to be kept …Still I was there with all my heart no matter how short the time was..I am not shy to say yes it was a good time with you around… I could pour my heart out..spill my love over…laugh freely…smile happily…not hesitant to show you the way I feel…it became stronger..But that was not the deal..the deal was to take life easy and flow free…It now doesn’t seem to be so..without you it was impossible for me to know what the love means..how it makes someone suffer so terribly, how it stings you each day…every day….Still…Never Loved you halfheartedly. I wont say it doesn’t matter whether you are near or not..because it truly matters..I wanted to find solace..but could not became an escapist..I wanted to forget…but could not became negligent…I wanted to reduce the pain…but could not find a painkiller for that…I want you to be happy …but could not be the reason for your smile…

You say you adored me…that was the first lie you told me which i came to know..but there were several things which I could not know…was it wrong? May be not..whom to blame? Myself? You? or the Time? Let it be the Time only as I cant take the pain of blaming you neither can bear the burden myself alone..”

Said Stella to Allan…after he has gone for years now…hands

 

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